By Mr Gracie, Deputy Head – Student Engagement and Welfare

As we progress through the winter term, working hard and celebrating lots of success, I am approaching two years of working here. As this milestone approaches, I have occasionally paused for reflection and have also been asked by a number of people, “How’s it been?” or “What’s been different since you moved from the boys’ school?”

The phrasing in some of these questions has focused more on the differences between teaching boys and girls. This is, of course, a tricky question to answer because in any lesson or year group there are 20, 100, or more individual young people – each with their own story, their own experiences, their own skills and talents. That is what makes being an educator so rewarding; we get to share in and guide young people for a portion of their growing up. It is the greatest privilege. Someone’s gender is only one part of who they are, and there is far more variation on a daily basis between students within a gender than there is on average between boys and girls.

The students at BGS are impressive people, full stop. They are the main reason I came to work here, and I have only had daily affirmations that it was the right choice. Their drive to be their best selves, their care for one another and their forward-looking attitudes are truly inspirational.

Having said that, there is a reason we are resolutely and proudly a single-sex school. There are many advantages to being a school for girls, and there are shared experiences that allow us to be genuine specialists in supporting young women growing up in a world that is still more challenging and unequal than it should be. The importance of friendships, and the turbulence that can come with them, can certainly be more pronounced in girls, and they need experts around them to understand this. Early this week I was privileged to spend time with a colleague, Mrs Kristie Whomsley, and around 40 parents, focusing on how we can support students with the skills to navigate friendship turbulence and build resilience.

We are proudly a Girls on Board school, and Mrs Whomsley did a superb job unpacking how using this tool has really helped us all find a common language and shared understanding about friendship turbulence. A year on, we are seeing a greater ability in students — from Year 3 right up to the GCSE years to identify behaviours, show empathy towards others, and build the self-awareness needed to handle challenges more effectively. These tools are essential for successful adult life. The shared language has also helped us as adults, at school and at home, to ask more coaching-style questions and to consider what our young people really need from us at those painful moments of turbulence, when the existential truth that “every girl needs a friend” feels challenged.

As parents and experienced educationalists, with many years of teenage parenting experience between us, Mrs Whomsley and I also reflected on how helpful it has been to truly listen to the girls and to use the Girls on Board tools to be guided by them and their needs. I am fortunate that part of my role is to place those experiences at the centre of what we do. We continue to adapt our pastoral programmes, including our use of the Girls on Board approach, to best suit our cohorts and their experiences. Linking this into our wider resilience framework has been especially valuable and is an area we continue to explore.

When friendship turbulence or another challenging moment occurs — a failed test or a crisis of confidence, it can feel all-encompassing for young people. That is why having excellent form tutors and wider pastoral team, who are close to their students’ daily experiences, and a busy curricular and co-curricular environment really matters. A BGS student’s days are filled with so many opportunities, and it doesn’t usually take long, when they pause with a caring adult, to uncover reasons for positive self-esteem, examples of resilience, and evidence of all the skills needed for success in life. So, what is different about girls? Well, of course, there is a whole lot and understanding the specific needs of young women really matters. But that question isn’t nearly as important as: “What is different about BGS students?” For me, it is their ability to bounce back and grow, and their readiness for adult life when they leave our fabulous Sixth Form. That has been the most powerful discovery in my two years here. I am both proud and hopeful that our future will be shaped by the superb young people we are privileged to support.