It feels like everywhere we look at the moment there is another article about the dangers of smart phones for our young people; there certainly seems to be a movement towards looking afresh at their use. Smartphones have only been in existence since 2007 and they have without doubt brought us many benefits, but the research on their impact on children is constantly evolving. As a proudly “techy” school we advocate the need for our students to be digitally fluent; this not only includes how to effectively access apps and technology that will support their learning and their future careers, but also how to keep themselves safe online and, increasingly, how they can balance their use of technology with “tech free” time that is good for their well-being. It is why we are going mobile phone free for Years 7-10 from next year, and we are confident that this break from using their phones, and crucially social media, during the school day will be a great benefit to them. 

However, our young people don’t just have access to their smartphones during the school day, so what is it that parents can do to help support their daughters in managing their phone use in a way that is healthy, but still allows them to be connected with their friends and develop essential life long habits around tech and social media. This might be hard when they may well not think their usage is an issue. In a recent study in the US by Pew Research Center, 55% of teens felt that they spent the right amount of time on social media and 54% said they would find it hard to give it up – with teen girls finding it even harder. You may, or may not, be surprised to hear that 35% of teens in this study were on at least one social media platform “almost constantly”.  Furthermore, according to a 2023 study from Gallup, the average time spent on social media ranges from 4.1 hours a day for 13-year-olds to as high as 5.8 hours a day for 17-year-olds. Girls across all age groups spent nearly an hour more on social media than boys. So, how do you address this with your daughter?

One of the most powerful things that parents can do is to model good behaviour on their phones. Easier said than done, I know! However, we can start simply by having no phones at dinner time and make sure our children don’t see us scrolling before bedtime. We have to remember that social media has been designed to be addictive and it is helpful to recognise that in our conversations with our young people; don’t put blame onto them. I am sure all of us at some point have lost time to our mobile phones when we didn’t intend to – now imagine how hard that is for a teenager’s brain without the impulse control we have honed over many years. We also need to give them viable alternatives for things they can do instead; so encouraging them to get involved in co-curricular activities here in school or pursue other interests outside of school or as a family is key. I find that having open and honest conversations with young people around their phone and social media use can be really powerful: explain to them the reasons why you are concerned using current research; ask their opinion on how they are feeling about their phone usage and particularly around things that are worrying them like missing out on what others are up to, body issues or addiction; and then encourage them to come up with their own plan for reducing their phone time, engaging in real life interactions with family and friends and ensuring they get enough sleep.

It is incumbent on us as the adults to set the tone. We must ensure we are well informed; recent research from Ofcom Indicates that only a third of parents are aware of the age requirements for social media for instance. We talk to the students about safe use but these conversations need to be replicated at home. Parents also need to set the boundaries on phone use at home, whilst understanding why our young people are so caught up in their phones and trying to focus on promoting positive behaviour rather than punishing. It is through this collaboration between parents and the school that we can ensure our young people develop lifelong skills around their digital devices that allows them to engage with all the positive aspects of our connected world, whilst also protecting their mental health and wellbeing. And we must not forget that technology can bring real benefits to our young people. For instance, the recent Ofcom research shows that girls are also more likely than boys to use online apps and services to benefit their health and wellbeing: seven in ten (71%) 12-17s say they use online apps and services to benefit their health and wellbeing to help them relax, check health symptoms or to improve their mood – and this is more likely among girls than boys (76% vs 66%). And it is benefits like this that we want to continue to encourage!

As a parent myself, I know how difficult it is to get this balance right and no doubt we will all make mistakes along the way. However as the famous American Advice Columnist Ann Landers said: “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” I look forward to working together with you on ensuring the students of BGS flourish in our digitally advancing world.