It has been a busy last few weeks of term and I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing BGS students throwing themselves into all the opportunities on offer from sport to House competitions, drama to music, their academic studies to developing their passion for causes that matter to them. However, a particular highlight has been talking to the new Girls’ Leadership Group (GLG) about their ambitions for this next year, how they will achieve them and how they plan to work together. It reminded me just how important having opportunities like this are, here in our empowering community of young women, in helping them prepare for their futures.

As we all know, girls excel in the classroom, outpacing their male counterparts in academic achievements. However, it’s crucial to recognise that some of the behaviours traditionally rewarded in educational settings, such as being quiet, sitting still, not messing up, often hinder girls’ advancement in the professional world. As Julie Carrier, CEO of Girls Lead Worldwide, aptly points out, the traits that serve girls well in school, like people-pleasing and perfectionism, don’t necessarily translate into success in the boardroom. She says “Girls internalise this need for obedience and perfectionism a lot more than boys…Boys are like Teflon. You criticise them and it bounces off. For girls, it sticks like Velcro.” Sadly many girls are socialised to believe that their self worth comes from being perfect. They can believe that being liked is more important than being heard and that there is no room for failure. This puts our girls under a huge amount of pressure and will not help them when they get out into the workplace. 

To bridge this gap, we must equip our girls with real-world skills like grit, confidence and a sense of self – things our girls develop in spades at BGS, particularly in the GLG, but also in a myriad of other opportunities. We need to replace any self-defeating narratives and empower them to believe in themselves and recognise how important their voice is. These skills are vital for navigating the complexities of the workplace and overcoming obstacles they may encounter along their career paths.

Girls must have access to great role models and part of our GLG training includes working with some of our inspiring alumnae. As Carrier says “In a culture filled with women’s picture-perfect images, picture-perfect social media lives and picture-perfect success stories…girls must have the opportunity to learn from the ‘whole person’ and the ‘whole story,’ which is often messy, filled with fear, failure, mistakes and setbacks.” I was delighted to hear one of our GLG say the best piece of advice she received at her training was about how to say no gracefully, in order to not become overwhelmed and protect her wellbeing. This can be a life-long lesson for women who have been conditioned to people please; I acknowledged that it took me until my first teaching job, where I took on nine other extra responsibilities and it was only at being asked to do the tenth, and at the point of extreme exhaustion, that I finally said no. How wonderful to learn this lesson at the age of 17!

Moreover, it’s essential to challenge the traditional notion of leadership, moving away from a hierarchical “command and control” model to a more inclusive and egalitarian approach known as “character-based leadership.” In this model, leadership is based on the premise that leadership is not a title or position. Instead, it comes from knowing who you are at your core, developing your capabilities and using your unique strengths to contribute. As I listened to each new captain on the GLG explain her ambitions for her new role, this was never more evident. 

However, it doesn’t just rest in our GLG to gain these essential leadership skills, as demonstrated by: our lacrosse team taking on Bedford School’s rugby team at lacrosse; our musicians leading in their ensemble pieces; our Year 12 showing their passions in their campaign challenge; the annual inspection of the CCF; our older girls being role models for the younger ones through peer mentoring, House activities and just around the school; and for each student every day in their lessons by stepping up, not being the quiet, obedient student of yesteryear, but by being their authentic selves, speaking out, working collaboratively and throwing themselves into their studies. 

So I hope that the new GLG and all the students in the school take this very sound advice, from the actress Octavia Spencer in her speech at Kent State University “It’s your turn to choose and define what success means to you. Now, others will try to define it for you, but yours is the only voice that matters.”